Pink Boxes, Keys, and Letters

It has been quite a while since my last blog.  The busyness of basketball season reared its head and sucked us all in again.  Then, the other day, something stopped me in my tracks.

I always get a chuckle when I read Facebook posts of how my friends can't believe their child has turned 6 or 7 or 8 or 10....you get the picture.  Up until this point I have resisted the urge to type; "Really?  Its hard to believe they turned 8?  They were 7 last year.  What's hard to believe?  Now if they were 7 and turned 10, that would be unbelievable!"

The ages don't get me, the events do.  I don't usually get caught off guard.  In fact, I can only think of three times so far where I have thought to myself...."I can't believe this."

A few years ago, it hit me.  My daughter is getting old, I am getting old, and I couldn't believe what I was doing.  I was headed home form work and got the call no guy ever wants to get.  I had to make THE purchase.  Living with 6 women, it was inevitable.  I am quite proud of myself for putting it off as long as I did.  Laura was not able to make it to the store, and called me for help.  I blanked out after she told me what my mission was, and all I could remember was "pink on the box".  Stunned I was at the point where I needed to buy this item for one of my girls, I wandered the isles of Meijer looking for items I can purchase that will hide the box with pink on it from the outside world.  Finally, I was ready to go grab the box, throw it in the cart, and make a B-line to the check out lane.  My plan for quickness failed for one main reason.  EVERY BOX HAS PINK ON IT!!  I was stuck.  Do I get light, the one with wings, sport.  I found myself wondering what it all meant, and quickly discovered I didn't want to know.  Forget comfort zone, I was out of my comfort galaxy.  I didn't know how to ask for help.  I didn't want to ask for help.  I did know I had to come home with something.  I had a 1 in 352 chance of picking the right pink box.  Then, a woman in a red shirt asked, "Can I help you?"  With a sigh of relief, I explained my dilemma, the details of my daughter, and I think I mentioned Pink Box.  Without hesitation, she walked over and grabbed what I needed and made my trip a success.  As I was checking out, I grabbed the pink box and it hit me.  As the shoes in my life are getting bigger, the boxes are getting smaller.  My girl isn't little anymore.  Our relationship was going to change.  Scrap that, it has changed.  I used to buy big boxes full of diapers, and I was good with that.  This smaller pink box intimidates me.

This past fall, I was stopped again.  Life was moving at a rapid pace.  I hadn't had to buy or think about pink boxes, which was great.  Lyz was taking drivers training, and we were all excited about it.  It is going to be great to have another driver in the house.  School season was in full swing, and we were all buckling down for our fall schedules.  I wasn't prepared for the question that was weeks in the making. We were heading out the door, and Lyz looked at me and asked "Dad, can I drive?"  I just looked at my keys which seemed like 4 hours (in reality 15 seconds at the most).  How can she be old enough to drive?  She was just falling off a bike last week (again reality...... 9 years ago).  That ride across town was difficult.  Not because she took a turn at 45 MPH and I thought I was going to die, but because she  isn't little anymore.  She's driving.  That question made her independence a reality.  She is starting to need me less, and I have to let go more.

This all brings me to the day I was stopped in my tracks.  Basketball season has us going every night of the week, Saturday mornings, and Sunday nights.  As I was passing through the kitchen, I saw a stack of letters.  They were all made out to Alyzabeth Compton.  As I looked through who they were from it took me 5 letters for it to hit me.  Cornerstone, Calvin, Ferris State........They were from colleges!!!  Tracks stopped.  As I looked at all these schools that are interested in my daughter I realized that my time is almost up.  I have two years left.  You talk about a sobering "I can't believe it", I want to not believe she is 6 or 7 or 8 or even 10.

Her shoes are about as big as they are going to get, and my time for seeing them laying around the house is rapidly coming to an end.  I have to start believing it and make the most of the time I have left. Dates with her are extra special now, hugs after tough games will be a little longer, and I will have to take advantage of every teaching moment I have left.

So enjoy the 6 and 7 and 8 and 10 and even little pink boxes.

HutHut HIKE!!....Here we go Again

It is that time of year again!  The weather is getting cooler, the girls are getting back into their school routine, and Sunday afternoons are filled with football!  In case you need reminding, I am the only male living in this house, and coincidently the only one whose mood is contingent on how the Bears are playing.  My girls are now resigned to the fact that they lose me one afternoon a week until February rolls around.  To them, Super Bowl Sunday brings a whole new view on excitement.  The year end football party marks the beginning of Sunday afternoon attention from their dad....and grandpa....and uncle too!

Several years ago, we were headed to a Super Bowl party at our friend's house.  To be completely honest, I don't recall who was playing, the outcome, or how the season had gone for me (shows how much it really matters, huh).   I do remember this.  Laura and Lyz, then 7, were talking about our plans for the evening.  Laura was explaining to Lyz that this is a big deal even if the Bears are not playing because it is the Championship.  I am sure she also explained that the last game had finally arrived, because Lyz'a next question was "Does that mean dad will play with us on Sundays again?'  That caught me by surprise.  Am I that bad?  (all the women in my house yell an emphatic "YES"!) It bothered me for a couple of months and I vowed I would be different the following seasons.  Then September came.......

3 more Fantasy Football Leagues I couldn't say no to.  My reason being I could manage the team after they went to bed.  The Bears were gearing up for another year of optimism, and almost expected disappointment.  Each season comes and goes, and needless to say, I have not gotten much better.....well, not in the way Laura had hoped.  My Fantasy teams do great!!

However, the girls have learned that while I yell and get all excited Sunday afternoons, they are still my priority.  They have also learned the following:

1.  While called Fantasy Football, it is very much a reality
2.  Coming out of their room wearing the orange and blue gets them just about whatever they want on Sundays.
3.  Don't go into the living room after a key turnover.
4.  Don't ask for anything after a loss.
5.  Comfort snuggles make everything OK.

Several years have passed since Lyz's question, and she is actually growing to appreciate football.  She watched the whole game with me Sunday and enjoyed it.  Kenzie tries to hop on the computer and play games in between my Fantasy updates.  Football is annoying to her.  Maddy is game for anything as long as their is something socially going on as a result.  Savy and Katie are too young to know the difference yet.  Savy still lets me put her in the Urlacher Jersey.  Laura puts up with it, and is excited for Super Bowl Sunday to arrive.

The first week drew to a close last night, and so far all is well......Bears are 1-0 and I am 2-1 in Reality Football.  Gonna be a great year.........

School Shoes

I came home from a weekend trip of baseball to a bunch of new shoes I didn't recognize.  They were clean, bigger, and brighter than the ones I have come to appreciate lying around our house.  I liked those shoes, and the story each crease, scratch and stain represented.  I am not ready for new shoes because sadly, that means one thing....another year of school is about to begin.

We love summer and having our girls around.  Tripping over the shoes left in front of the door, while frustrating, means everyone is home.  Days spent cooling off in the pool playing whirlpool tag, a Compton creation, heading to the lake for pronto pups and beach time, and the fact we have no schedule makes summer great.  Now I won't lie, Laura and I always have great intentions of how the summer is going to be different, and how we are going to do this or that.  Most summers, OK, every summer doesn't play out like we plan.  This summer was no different.  It had its disappointments, mainly canceling a vacation we had planned, but we were together, and that made it summer.

Then Labor Day weekend arrived.  It seems to come quicker each year, and the conversations on how we all can't believe summer is over start surfacing.  We pack as much fun as we can until we get to the point where everyone is grumpy (part of it is exhaustion, and the other is we know what Tuesday means).  As the day drew to a close, the girls set out their clothes for school, and the new shoes reappeared.

I don't like these new shoes.  They will quiet and empty our house to the point where Laura will come to tears.  They will force us to a new school year routine.  Worse, they bring us one year closer to our girls growing up and out.  The end of summer officially ties the knot on the previous year.  Lyz is no longer a freshman.  Freshman doesn't seem too bad.  Sophomore seems so much closer to senior.  Kenzie starts 8th grade which means next year is High School.  Maddy is no longer in elementary school.  She is now too big for recess.  Savy has to adjust to not having her sisters around all day, but for only one more year.  Next year she won't be "too little" for school.  Katie has no clue whats going on, so these new shoes mean nothing to her, other than another thing to suck on.

But, these new shoes will grow on me as they always do.  They will take my girls to places that will stretch their faith, comfort their feet as they step into the uncomfortable, and show the wear and tear of another year living a life God has planned for them.  This time of year brings on a new topic for family devotion time, new sport teams, and new challenges to face and pray about together as a family.

I still don't like the start of another school year, but I am excited for what is in store for our family of 7.  So strap it on, new shoes, we are ready to wear you out!!

Filling a Mom's Shoes

A couple of months ago, I received a letter in the mail stating it was time to renew the life insurance policy on my wife.  In that letter it mentioned that life has probably changed since we took out the policy on her and to carefully consider how much coverage we would need in order to fill her shoes.
They were right about one thing, life has changed in 10 years.  For starters, we added Maddy, Savy, and Katie to our family.  That being said, how could I possibly put a dollar amount on filling her shoes?

Moms are too valuable to cheapen with a price tag.  In my house, my girls go to Mom when they are hurt.  I tend to fix it with a band-aid and an "its not that bad" pep talk.  Moms make a big deal about the finger paintings of a tree that really look like an elephant.  Moms keep yellow weeds carefully picked by little hands and proudly display them in a vase by the window.  Moms can do hair!!!!  Moms always seem to know where everything is that dads are looking for (even though we don't put anything where it belongs).  If my girls didn't have a mom, the house would never smell like fresh baked cookies.  As our girls have grown, the Mom in the house is better at having the conversations that require a certain level of delicacy.  These are just some of the little things that go unnoticed, yet make Moms special.

And how can I possibly put a price on virtue?  Webster defines success as the accumulation of material possessions or the attainment of a position of power, prestige, and fame.  Being a Mom does not promise any of that.  A mom understands that quietly and simply raising a family is success that society, and Webster, do not recognize.  A mom (my wife especially) sees the importance of the latter and is willing to sacrifice the former so the children they are raising understand the importance of character, virtue, and a healthy marriage.

Most importantly, the women my girls call Mom understands the power of prayer.  It is comforting to know that my wife prays for me and my family.

So.... I still don't have an answer.  I just picked a number, because I know that if I had all the money in the world, I could not begin to fill the shoes of the one who goes by Mom.  I am thankful and blessed to be married to such a wonderful mom to my girls.  And the cool thing is, she cherishes the title mom.

Thank you to all you Moms out there.  You truly have the most important job in the world.  Happy Mother's Day.  Kick off your shoes for one day, put your feet up, and let us take care of you.......

Lessons from Lyz

As a dad, there are times when your children teach you life lessons.  They don't do it on purpose, they just live life.  If you are humble enough, you learn.  Of coarse it does require that we as dads take time out of our day to watch and just be with our little teachers.

Alyzabeth is my oldest girl, and at 14, she isn't quite "little" anymore.  Laura and I had her when we were young and figuring out life ourselves.  Not that I have this whole dad thing figured out yet, but with Lyz everything was new.  I had a lot of learning opportunities.  We have grown up together and try to keep learning.  She is a great girl and shares a lot of the same interests as her dad.  We both love going to baseball games, playing basketball and any other sport going on at the time.

For anyone familiar with the Compton family, we play to win.  We almost suck the fun out of playing we want to win so bad.  Lyz is following in her grandpa, dad, aunt, dad's cousins' (Scotty) footsteps.  We knew early she was going to have the Compton competitive gene.  When she was three, she made sure she counted every memory card to know she beat her mom and I in the game of remembering.  She still has that competitive spirit.  She does not like the idea that her younger sister has the potential to be taller.

Her love for sports also proves she is a true Compton.  She has done everything from gymnastics, to soccer, to softball, to her new found love, basketball.  This love for sports added to the desire to win can be a dangerous combination.  Believe me, I know.  I have lived it myself.  I only wish I handled it with as much class and grace as Lyz.  More on that later.

Lyz has taught me a lot through the years when it comes to sports.  Her lessons so far have come in the form of questions.  Why are you yelling at the TV?  Does them losing really ruin your day?  What are bragging rights, and why do you need them?  I am still working through those questions.....and I do enjoy bragging rights!!!

This year was one of the biggest lessons I learned.  This year, Lyz's lesson came from watching her in action.  Lyz entered high school this year, and November brought us our first taste of high school basketball.  In all my Comptonness, I was excited.  First of all, the team looked really good.  They had only lost 4 games in two years and were set up for another good run.  Second, high school ball is about winning.  It is OK to root to win.  Up until this point, it was about learning the game (although I still wanted to win).  Now I could cheer and root to win and not embarrass the family.

Lyz worked hard over the summer to improve her game and quickly became an important piece to the early success of the team.  This was going to be a good year.  I gave her the dad speech of making sure she played with good sportsmanship, gave her best, was a good teammate, and made sure she was a testimony on the hardwood.  I should have listened to my own advice.  I mean well, but there is something about a man in stripes that gets me going.  I can't let a bad call go, and in my opinion, most of the calls are bad.  If anyone has watched a game with a Compton male, you know what I mean.

Half way through the season, the team lost one of their best players.  She got placed on another team due to injury, and I was bummed.  The team was playing great, and I wanted it to stay that way.  The team struggled to figure out their roles in the the games that followed, and the parents, me especially,  were growing increasingly frustrated.  Why would the AD pull our team apart?  The girls can not get over this hurdle!!  This ruined our season!

Lyz didn't say a word.

Lyz worked harder to be a leader, and to encourage her team.  When she lost, she lost with grace, while her dad vented his frustration to the other dads.  When she won, she did it with humility and encouraged her team.  When calls didn't go her way, she picked herself up off the floor and ran to the other end while I stood with my arms in the air demanding an explanation (I used my best bad ref material, too).

Lyz never gave up.  She didn't complain, or groan about how the team didn't get a fair shake.  She didn't even mention the fact the team lost their starting point guard.  She worked hard to get better.  She stayed later to improve her shot, and lifted to get stronger.  She used this challenge to better herself and the team.  While parents pleaded for better calls, she and the team played on.  They finished strong with a 4 game winning streak and looked like they didn't miss a beat.  There is a saying that sports don't build character, they reveal it.  The character of Lyz, and her team (Lyndsey, Autumn, Beckett, Sparty, and Kendra) stood out.  Well done, Wildcats.

I thought a lot about Lyz last night and about how much character she revealed this season.  Lyz lived Philippians 3:14 this season.  She pressed on on toward the goal, and did not let anyone get her down.  Every time a roadblock was thrown #33's way, she pressed on.

Now basketball is just a game, but the lesson Lyz taught me this season wasn't just about basketball.  God doesn't promise us an easy life.  He doesn't promise everything will set up and go according to our plan.  We could lose a key person at work that requires more of us.  We will catch bad breaks and want to throw our hands up and give in.
God does require us to press on.  And if we do...He does promise a winning streak when we reach the end.    

Dancing Shoes

February is yet another month of fun when you live in a house full of girls.  February fun is kicked off with the annual Daddy Daughter Dance held at the middle school.  Dads get dressed up in their best, daughters put on their fanciest dress, and it is off for a night of dinner and dancing.  Most years the dance consists of all the dads standing along the wall, where are girls instructed us to be, while the daughters run around with their friends and play with the balloons in the gym.  I would get the occasional nod to put my left arm in and shake it all about only if the song called for it.  After convincing, OK begging, I can get in a slow dance as the DJ is wrapping up the evening.

However, my first ever dance didn't even make it to the Hokey Pokey.  I was in my wool pants and tie, Lyz was in her red turtleneck and black dress pants.  I had my pink ticket in hand and was excited for a special night filled with fun dancing and the Hallmark sentimental slow dance.  After ten minutes, Lyz came over to me, I was in my assigned bleacher spot, and said "I want to go bowling."  Really?  Bowling in this?  That's what she wanted, and it was her night.  We had a blast together with her best friend at the bowling alley.  And while I did not get that slow dance, it is a night I will not forget.

We did manage to make it through the entire dance in the following years, but the protocol stayed the same.  I waited along the bleachers with all the other dads eagerly waiting for our girls to throw us the "come out and dance with me" bone.   We didn't get picked much, but when we did, we felt like a million bucks.

Lyz and Kenzie have out grown their dancing shoes, and are no longer interested in the dance.  I imagine my next dance with them will be when they are in their wedding shoes.

This year was Maddy's turn.  She has gone to the dance with me before, but this year it was different.  This year it was just her and me.  This year she had my undivided attention.  This year she didn't have to share me with her sisters.....and what a time we had.  I placed the corsage on her wrist, and we headed off to dinner.  After dinner, we headed to the dance with the pink ticket in hand and a starry eyed girl on my arm.  I was heading to my annual spot with the dads when I heard the best sentence of the year...."Dad, aren't we going to dance?"  I winked at the lonely bleacher dads (an I got the call up wink), and danced the night away.  We made up dance moves, laughed at each other, shook it all about, did the chicken.....and then the music slowed.  Maddy nestled in and we swayed back and forth.  I didn't want the night to end.  If you are a dad, and have never taken your daughter on a date, find the time.  Nothing will make your little girl feel more important than her dad spending time with just her.  She gets the message that she is worth you spending your time and money on just her.  To be frank, I couldn't think of a better investment, but I digress.

February fun is continued on 2/14.  I live with 6 girls, so I have to plan for 2/14 a couple of weeks in advance.  Now I get it that Valentines Day is just a Hallmark Holiday, but I DON'T CARE.  People tell me "I don't need a day to tell my girl I love her".  I don't either, but this day is a chance for me to do it out loud.  It is a day for me to show my girls I love them like crazy.  It is also a chance for me to show all the guys in their school..."It's OK, the Compton girls have a Valentine!!"  My day starts with the tour of the schools where I drop off to each daughter a red rose, balloon, and their favorite candy.  The greatest part about this is they never out grow it.  Even this year, Lyz came through the high school hall way with a look of excitement and gave me a big hug.  Her younger sisters followed suit all giving me an excited "You came again" hug.  I love those.  The night concludes with me making them all a dinner.  I make sure to place their candy, they have all grown to appreciate the gourmet chocolates, on their plates so they can sneak a quick sweet before dinner.  I must add that their mom has the biggest vase and box at her dinner seat.  Dinner together is always a blast, and Valentines Day would not seem right without it.  We had another great February 14, and I felt again like the luckiest man on earth.  How many people can say they have 6 valentines??

As I think more about it, Valentines Day is just another way for me to show my family the example of how our Heavenly Father loves us.  No matter how old my girls get, or how far they move away, they will always be my Valentine.  They will always receive flowers from their very first Valentine.  God loves us the same way.  No matter what stage in life we are in, or how far we try and run, God will always love us in a way we can not fathom.  He is waiting and eager to shower us with blessings.  All we need to do is call him off the bleachers and invite him to dance.

Busy Dad

My life has become quite busy.  Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.  This is the fun busy.  The kind of busy most people choose not to experience.  To be quite honest, I am the kind of busy people try to avoid today, and think I am crazy for embracing it.  The busy I am talking about is BIG family busy.  I am the proud daddy of five, yes five, beautiful girls.  I know what you are thinking, and I have heard it all.  "That is a lot of weddings", or "Think of all the boys coming around", and my personal favorite "I feel sorry for you when their cycles all synchronize".

I embrace it all.  I love the fact that I get to protect five precious hearts until God provides the right man to take over.  Staring across the table at a bright eyed little girl, or young lady, on daddy daughter date night is hard to beat.  Morning cuddles on the couch watching Dora, are times I cherish.

I must admit, I did not envision a house full of girls when I thought about being a dad.  I saw mostly boys.  I couldn't wait to play ball, go to games, play catch, and fill out brackets every March.  The cool thing is I still get to do all that with my girls, and experience the blessing of a daughters love times 5.....and they clean up a lot better to boot!

We are busy.  We are at Lyz's games on Tuesday and Thursdays, Kenzies games on Monday and Wednesdays, Varsity games on Friday, Youth group and AWANA on Wednesdays, Church on Sunday, which leaves Saturday.  Half the year they are consumed with Soccer games and taxiing everyone around to their social endeavors.

As you can imagine, the shoes pile up as we come and go.  As I was putting them away the other day, I got to thinking that the shoes in my life are getting bigger.  The thing about being busy, is I don't take enough time to think about what we are doing as we go through life as a family of seven.  It was just yesterday, I was velcroing on Lyz's baby Jordans.  Today I was putting away the size nine basketball shoes.  With each size comes challenges, changes, and a lot of fun memories.  I am going to take more time to enjoy life in each size.  Feel free to hop on the ride and laugh at my mistakes and celebrate the joy of having girls.  Too soon the only size left will be mine....